Not My Fight

It was not my fight
Though my heart was jumping out of my chest
My tears swallowed by the ocean of impossibility
My pain goes un-noticed
My tears and pain has no place
It was not my fight

Someone else deserve the happiness
Someone else deserve the laughter
Someone else deserve the warmth
I cannot fight for something I do not deserve
I cannot fight for something that is not mine

But one day I will fight
For the happiness I deserve
For the laughter I deserve
For the warmth I deserve
For the love I knew to be mine

But not today
This one is not my fight
Though my armour and weapons are ready
My blood boils with adrenalin
I could not strike
It was not my place
It was not my fight
He is not mine

Melbourne, 16 May 2008

“I am not afraid to keep on living...
I am not afraid to walk this world alone...”

It’s been awhile I know. Life goes on. Things change. I change. I live!
I live again. After so long, I live again. This time for me. I live for me.
After being stripped off my armour... I stood naked again. And all I could see was me.
No job, no title, no relationships, no failure, no success... Just me. And I start from there...
I rebuilt my life, regain my control over me.
Step by step... my stride became stronger
I collect the pieces of respect I have lost along the way
Pieces of confidence
Pieces of love
I now once again walk with pride
Every step I take now I took for me
And every step will take me closer to who I will become
Whoever that will be
My journey will not be easy... it was never easy
But I will take it now, I will do it, I will make it

I am ready to live again...
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone