My Life in Borrowed Words - My Music Diary

This is my life in borrowed words... Maybe one day, i will have the courage to write my story in my own words...

1998 – 1999
Crush by Jennifer Paige
...
If you see something in my eye
Lets not over analyze
Don’t go too deep with it baby
So let it be what it’ll be
Don’t make a fuss and get crazy over you and me
Here’s what I do, I play it loose
Not like we have a date with destiny

Its just a little crush
Not like I faint everytime we touch
Its just some little thing
Not like everything I do depends on you
...
Its raising my adrenaline
You’re bangin on a heart of tin
Please don’t make too much of it baby
Say the word forevermore
That’s not what I’m looking for
All I can commit to is maybe


Believe by Cher
...
Do you believe in life after love
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough,
Now

What am I supposed to do
Sit around and wait for you
And I can't do that
There's no turning back
I need time to move on
I need love to feel strong
'Cause I've had time to think it through
And maybe I'm too good for you Ohh Oh

But I know that I'll get through this
'Cause I know that I am strong
I don't need you anymore


Everything by Lifehouse

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?
...

Cause you're all I want, you're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

Blurry times of early 2000s

Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park

(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
...
I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today


Faint by Linkin Park

I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact
That everyone can see these scars

I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you to just believe this is real

So, I let go watchin' you, turn your back
Like you always do, face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you are all that I've got

I can't feel the way I did before, don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored, time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me, I won't be ignored

I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand, I do what I can
But sometimes I don't make sense

I am what you never want to say but I've never
Had a doubt, it's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you for once just to hear me out
...
No, hear me out now, you're gonna listen to me
Like it or not, right now, hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me like it or not, right now


White Flag by Dido

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
Or tell you that
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction
To come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
...

Nov 2006 – Jan 2008

Lithium by Evanescense
...
Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show
Never wanted it to be so cold
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me

I can't hold on to me
Wonder what's wrong with me?
...
Don't wanna let it lay me down this time
Drown my will to fly
Here in the darkness I know myself
Can't break free until I let it go, let me go

Darling, I forgive you after all
Anything is better than to be alone
And in the end I guess I had to fall
Always find my place among the ashes


Man eater by Nelly Furtado

Everybody look at me, me
I walk in the door you start screaming
Come on everybody what chu here for?
Move your body around like a nympho
...
I want to see you all on your knees, knees
You either want to be with me, or be me!

Maneater, make you work more
Make you spend more
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater, make you buy cars, make you cut cards
Wish you never ever met her at all!

And when she walks she walks with passion
when she talks, she talks like she can handle it
when she asks for something boy she means it
even if you never ever see it
...


Simon by Lifehouse

Catch your breath, hit the wall, scream out loud
As you start to crawl, back in your cage
The only place, where they will leave you alone.
'Cause the weak will seek the weaker til they've broken them.
Could you get it back again? Would it be the same?
Fulfillment to their lack of strength at your expense,
Left you with no defense they tore it down.
.....
Refuse to feel anything at all,
Refuse to slip, refuse to fall.
Can't be weak, can't stand still,
You watch your back 'cause no one will.
You don't know why they had to go this far,
Traded your worth for these scars,
For your only company...


Quasimodo by Lifehouse
...
Cause I don't need your approval
To find my worth

I'm trapped inside of my own mind
Afraid to open my eyes cause of what I'd find and I
Don't wanna live like this anymore

There goes my pain there goes my chains
Did you see them falling
Because this feeling
There has no meaning
There goes the world, off of my shoulders
There goes the world, off of my back
There it goes

...
Well you can't control me
And you can't take away from me who I am

You can't change me, you can't break me
...

2008 – 2009

Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance
...
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
...

Can you see my eyes are shining bright
Cause I'm out here on the other side
Of a jet black hotel mirror and I'm so weak
Is it hard understanding I'm incomplete?
A love that's so demanding I get weak
...
I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead...

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
...
If I lay here, if I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told, before we get too old
Show me a garden, that's bursting into life

All that I am, all that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

The music is still playing, though with different tunes and lyrics...
Although these words are not mine
I will continue to dance to my own tune
The next tunes are still being composed
But one day i will have my perfect orchestra...